- Find four fluffy girlies.
- Invade a DIY store and worry the staff.
- Buy a 4”x8” sheet of 9mm marine plywood after a suitable period determining that it is not heavier than exterior grade plywood. (although twice as expensive)
- Buy vast quantity of wood glue.
- Walk said sheet of ply home (uphill and two miles from the centre of town), stopping traffic en route.
- Rearrange living room furniture so said play can be stored flat.
- Wait until group coordinator arrives with her treasured scale drawing of circles.
- Watch while she transfers these circles onto the ply with the aid on numerous bits of purple string and a nail.
- Tread on nail.
- Break for dinner.
- Manoeuvre ply into backyard and rest on convenient table.
- Use one person to balance ply, one person to brace it and let group coordinator brave the jigsaw.
- Steal bricks from Handy B****y Andy the DIY fanatic from next door.
- Rest circles of ply on bricks to drill holes ready to cut out centres.
- Break for chocolate cake.
- Cut out centres and use as Frisbees (resisting the urge to brain Handy B****y Andy with them).
- Bring plywood polos inside.
- Cover living room floor with a weeks worth of old newspapers.
- Begin gluing pink polycotton sheets to the plywood polos (well those sheets are never going near my bed again).
- Prop said polos against every available wall to dry – carefully positioning them so you can trip over the maximum number of them when you get up at 4.30am the next morning.
To be completed when the shields are…