Basic Kit Making. Step by Step Instructions.

by Hazel


Part 1 

  • Find four fluffy girlies.
  • Invade a DIY store and worry the staff.
  • Buy a 4”x8” sheet of 9mm marine plywood after a suitable period determining that it is not heavier than exterior grade plywood.  (although twice as expensive)
  • Buy vast quantity of wood glue.
  • Walk said sheet of ply home (uphill and two miles from the centre of town), stopping traffic en route.
  • Rearrange living room furniture so said play can be stored flat.
  • Wait until group coordinator arrives with her treasured scale drawing of circles.
  • Watch while she transfers these circles onto the ply with the aid on numerous bits of purple string and a nail.
  • Tread on nail.
  • Break for dinner.
  • Manoeuvre ply into backyard and rest on convenient table.
  • Use one person to balance ply, one person to brace it and let group coordinator brave the jigsaw.
  • Steal bricks from Handy B****y Andy the DIY fanatic from next door.
  • Rest circles of ply on bricks to drill holes ready to cut out centres.
  • Break for chocolate cake.
  • Cut out centres and use as Frisbees (resisting the urge to brain Handy B****y Andy with them).
  • Bring plywood polos inside.
  • Cover living room floor with a weeks worth of old newspapers.
  • Begin gluing pink polycotton sheets to the plywood polos (well those sheets are never going near my bed again).
  • Prop said polos against every available wall to dry – carefully positioning them so you can trip over the maximum number of them when you get up at 4.30am the next morning.

 To be completed when the shields are…