Hastings: The Odyssey

by Sabrina (Car 1)

It was very funny in Hastings or better: in Battle.

Shortly after we arrived ,we invaded a pub. (Dressing tents in the middle of the darkness makes you thirsty!)  Meanwhile we were waiting for the other Gwerin who were on their way to Hastings.  After some drinks we tried to make our way back to the camp.(This stupid alcool has the bad habit to confuse you!!!)  Finally we arrived in the camp where the rest of the Gwerin were trying to dress their tents. We laughed and talked a lot. 

The next day,after a raining, cold, and surely a short night, we made our way to the 1066, the pub we chosed to invade every time after the battle.  They didn’t serve breakfast until 11.00 am to hungry Re-enactors. (English logic!!!)  Finally we got our breakfast or shall I call it lunch? (Brunch sounds better)

At 01.00 pm we went back to the camp for dressing up for the battle.

(My God, I am getting nervous!!!!)

We joined the other group called “Debeck” (or something like that) and we marched and marched and marched…..

The battle was very funny.

“William!!!” “Normandie!!!”  Everybody shouted in normal English but what did the little Luxemburger?  “Vive la Normandie!!!” ” On va vous massacrer!!!” “Bande de laches!!!”

It was very nice fighting with spears, shields and swords while mixing up the languages.

At the end of the battle we had just lost Stuart and Igg.(I survived I just can’t believe it!!!)

After the battle we relaxed and eated some sandwiches while poking Leia.(I was so sad that Michael didn’t come,I really wanted to meet him one day…)

The night was even shorter than the previous one but a little bit warmer.

We invaded again the pub to get our “brunch”.

After that we tried to get back but it was just raining a little bit. We stayed until we had to go and we had done some “shopping”.

The battle was nice and even funnier than the first one. (Nearly all of the Gwerin died. How sad….)

After the battle we packed the cars.

Again we invaded our pub (for the last time ) and we eated for dinner.

Now starts the odyssey.

First an important notice:Igg and Will have the same cars,a Vauxhall Astra and both are white. Squish, Stuart and Leia were with Igg and Ben and I were with Will.

We left Battle about 6.30pm and the first thing which happened: Will took the wrong turn. It didn’t matter because we were still right ,we just picked up another road to get back home.

Meanwhile Stuart texted us that they had nearly crashed the car.

We were driving one hour when we tried to catch the M25. We were standing at the traffic lights (and as usual they were red and not green) and Will was drinking a little bit of Coke and Ben was texting Squish “Basingstoke!” But…

When the light turned green Will tried to pass the Coke to Ben but he reacted to late and the Coke was spilled over the map (obviously the map was thirsty too..) Will was distracted and…. Bang!!  Pscht… pscht … pscht….

“Oh s… biiiiiip ” and we had a flat tyre.

We called Igg and they were just laughing at us.

Meanwhile we put on the spare tyre and found out that this one was flat too.

Five minutes later: “Our car has broken too.” We couldn’t believe it but this was the reality.  (As Morpheus would say: Welcome to reality….)

We called the AA and we were waiting outside the car.Will was singing and we danced.

Finally the AA arrived and it was now nearly 8.30 pm .

Igg and the others were waiting for the AA at  a KFC.(The service station was next to it.)

The AA gave us a tyre so that we could drive to the service station and fill the spare tyre with some air.

What happened when we arrived to the service station?

We saw the rest of the Gwerin eating chicken while waiting for the AA.

We took pictures and couldn’t believe it. As Will said: “It is just bizarre.”

We discovered definitely that the spare tyre had a nail in it.  It is really a good thing with this”cloning process”.  We took the spare of Igg’s car and gave him the broken one.

After we had eaten chicken too, we were on the road again.  It is now 11.30pm.

Igg’s car was towed by a truck (his car didn’t want to work. We suspect the Saxons that they had harmed our cars…)

We were driving again for an hour and again: Bang… Pscht… pscht… pscht…

“Oh f..biiip…biiiip !!!!??!!”

Our second tyre lost his air.

We stopped on the highway bridge where the trucks pass at 100 km/h and where you could easily be flat as a pancake.

We phoned the AA again who couldn’t believe it. The truck carrying Igg’s car just passed us.  They were astonished and surprised.

We were waiting again for an hour for the AA. It was raining and I got a little cold. Will took out his cloak and wrapped it around us. Ben didn’t want it so he stayed in the rain.  Finally the truck arrived and we were happy to get inside, where it was a little bit warmer.

When our car was finally towed to the truck ,we went back to the service station where Igg has sacrified another tyre for us.  The AA-man was waiting with the tyre and we finally could change it.

After a hot chocolate we were on the road again.

We arrived in Cardiff after 04.00 am and we were absolutely exhausted.

Will couldn’t sleep (he was full of adrenaline) and Ben was making nightmares about trucks.  I slept very well.

At 11.00 am we arrived in Swansea and were very happy.